The Holiday Slide

“Last year, I came away from the vacation thoroughly bloated and ten pounds heavier, convinced I’d blocked an artery and possibly shortened my lifespan by a few months. But I was also deliriously contented, which is surely what it’s all about.” – Cash Peters

My routine is to wake up about 90 minutes before my kids do so that I can get some yoga and meditation in during the only time I can find that is truly quiet, and fairly reliably uninterrupted. That’s pretty early in the morning, by the way. With a few exceptions here and there it works pretty well, and it’s great because by the time the kids are up, I’m ready for them.

Lately things have been a bit different, however. It started with the dreaded clock change. I always anticipate a few rough mornings while everyone adjusts so I was ok when my routine was interrupted during the first few days. It continued, however. My younger daughter simply didn’t adjust and for weeks now has been waking up very early and ready for the day. Being the exuberant being that she is, she greets the morning by doing things like hopping into bed with us to play drums on our bed pillows, or lying in bed yelling “Mooommmmy, I neeeeeeed yoooou,” repeatedly, until someone responds.

I actually did ok for a couple of weeks. I held on to what I could in my routine and reminded myself to be grateful for whatever I was able to do. I kept expecting things to adjust and level out. They didn’t. I held on as long as I could, but ultimately, life took over.

I realized that the Thanksgiving holiday was upon us, I am hosting a reasonable number of people, my house was a disaster, and the food hadn’t been ordered (or even planned in my mind for that matter). Add a couple of sick kids waking up in the middle of the night and some unexpected realities of life to the mix and poof! Routine and discipline flew right out the window.

I’m sure you’re familiar with what I’m now referring to my holiday slide: when the activity and chaos of the holidays kind of takes over and the routines some of us rely on become much harder to maintain. I’m not maintaining. I now sit at my computer a couple of days before Thanksgiving, expecting our first guests to arrive this afternoon. The house isn’t yet completely ready, no shopping has been done, and all I know I’m serving is turkey and salmon. I haven’t figured out the rest of the menu yet. I haven’t formally practiced yoga or meditated for several days, my nutrition is far from the healthy for which I strive, my use of vices is up, and my sleep is inconsistent at best.

And you know what? It’s ok. This is the beautiful chaos of life. It’s the holiday season, when we tend to indulge more and attend to discipline less. Our kids are excited, and therefore nuts. Schools go on break and these wildlings needs to be entertained as they anticipate big family events and visits from Santa Claus. Often it’s all we can do to keep them reigned in sufficiently to avoid serious injuries and visits from social workers. We spend lots of time cleaning, decorating, shopping, cooking, and attending festive events. The television goes on more often, for everyone’s sanity. Nothing is “normal.”

Life just changes, and we have a choice. Cling rigidly to our routines and resent it when we can’t make it happen, or change with life knowing that this is temporary, and actually fun if we allow it to be so.

I started out clinging rigidly. I spent a few days really annoyed that I wasn’t getting my “me” time, and actually kind of stressed that I was losing the benefits of my practices. I had those catastrophic thoughts: “I’ve come so far, I can’t let it go now…what happens if I lose my discipline forever…etc.”

Then I remembered something I recently heard Jon Kabat-Zinn say. It was something to the effect that life itself is the greatest meditation. As important as the formal practices are, bringing mindfulness into our entire day is really what it’s about. And with this reminder, I was able to let go a little bit, accept that we are just here in this crazy time of year, and that I can actually allow myself to be flexible and enjoy it. And perhaps most importantly, that I can do all of this and still not only maintain a bit of my discipline, but actually even practice it in an incredibly meaningful way.

So today I will finish the cleaning I started rather grumpily over the weekend, I will start the shopping for the big Thanksgiving family fiesta I’ll be hosting, and I will breathe. I will breathe and allow myself to be in whatever moment I find myself in as I go through my day. My guests will start to arrive and instead of fretting over the meditation I didn’t do this morning, and the dusting that never got done, I will sit with them and enjoy their company. I will eat too much, move too little, and indulge too often, and I will love every moment of it. I will let my kids be nuts, because they are kids and the magic of this time of year belongs to them. I will let them take me on the magical journey with them. And I will breathe it all in, allowing life itself to be my greatest meditation during this brief period of time that I can’t make my formal practices happen.

One of our beautiful and universal truths is that of impermanence. Absolutely everything is impermanent, temporary. We have it for only a short time. Be in it, enjoy it, and let it go when it is its natural time to go.

Then, get back to your routine!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!