We Only Have Now

“The present moment. The only moment you can actually experience; ironically, it’s the one most of us seek to avoid.” — Eckhart Tolle

Where are you now? I don’t mean geographically, I mean in your mind. Are you here, truly here in this moment? Probably not. Most of the time, most of us are not.

If nothing else, these past few years, and even more intensely these past months, have taught me a lot about the importance remaining present. The political and social climates of the past few years have been filled with negativity. During this time many have looked either to the past or to the future seeking solace, placing blame, hoping for change, or maybe even fearing it. During these past months this has only intensified as our lives have changed due to the pandemic. We’ve missed the fun of the past and looked forward to “when we can do (insert future wish) again.”

I started out this way. As things changed around me, I initially resisted these changes, fighting to maintain some status quo or wishing for the future when things will change again. It didn't work. Politicians did what they do and didn’t really want or need my input, viruses spread regardless of how much I worried or planned or wished for a different time. All of the mental gymnastics I performed in my head to make the present moment different simply didn’t work. The moment remained unchanged, and my attempts to resist it or to remove myself from it did nothing. Except make it worse.

So I shifted my focus to one of acceptance. Not agreement, I want to be clear here, and not passive acceptance. Just acceptance. It is what it is, despite how cliche that sounds. I didn’t lay down and give up, I didn’t jump in and join forces. I simply accepted and began to work with what I have right now, whatever that may be in any given moment.

I am experiencing the pain of all of it, that has not changed because of my decision to accept it. What has changed is the degree to which I suffer. Pain and suffering are not the same thing. As the Buddha put it, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” I now have a choice, I can choose to resist reality and be miserable because I wish the current circumstance weren’t what they are, or I can sit with the pain while finding a way to learn and even be happy within the situation.

The realization that it is a choice is empowering. It is not enough, however, to lead to happiness. Once I make the choice to accept the present moment, I must then practice remaining in it. When my mind takes me back to the past or ahead to the future, I need to redirect it back to whatever is going on now, even if it is painful. Ironically, that is how the pain dissipates. It is only when I can sit in the pain and allow it to be there that it resolves on its own. It is then that I can find my way back to happiness. It seems counterintuitive, but it works.

We spend so much time avoiding the present moment and avoiding the reality in which we find ourselves, and we suffer unnecessarily because of it. Let’s remember that the only moment we actually have is the present one, and the only reality we actually have is the one in which we are sitting right now. Today let’s practice bringing ourselves back to the present when we find ourselves wandering to the future, or longing for the past. Sit for a little while in the now, and see the difference it makes.