If You Don't Change then Nothing Will Change
"Love yourself completely, return to the root of your own soul." --Rumi.
"Return to the root of your own soul." I love that because it really captures what I mean by "Rooting Down" so that you can "Rise Up." Rumi suggests that the "root" is self-love, which gives us not only what we need to rise up and be our best, but also its source. The love comes not from somewhere outside of yourself but rather from inside of you, meaning you already have everything you need. Beautiful, isn't it?
Self-love is the answer, in its simplest terms. Simple yes, but easy? I'd say no, both from personal and professional experience. Loving ourselves even incompletely is something we humans find rather difficult to do. Rather than delving into the reasons we find ourselves at least intermittently plagued with self-doubt and self-criticism for our perceived shortcomings, let's just accept it as a premise that we find true self-love a somewhat foreign concept.
I can use myself as an example here. For a number of years now I've been a full-time parent. This was quite a big change from my previous life as a career woman and world traveling adventurer. I went from having most things on my terms to having almost nothing on my terms in a relatively short period of time. A couple of years ago I finally realized that just about none of my own needs were being met and that I was totally depleted. I was cranky a lot of the time, exhausted, and running on empty. This reflected in my parenting, which was where I first noticed a problem. I was irritable, yelled more than I care to admit, and by mid-morning most mornings just wanted to be alone. I read and listened to a lot of parenting advice and tried to use strategies and practices. I had a very hard time remaining consistent with them, or even remembering them once I found myself emotionally engaged. I ended up back at the same place time and time again, feeling more and more failure each time. I wasn't happy, and I recognized that things needed to change.
Although I was not practicing yoga at the time, my favorite yoga instructor's words come to mind now, "If YOU don't change, then nothing with change."
Taking it back to Rumi's words, I wasn't loving myself. In fact I was doubting myself, losing my confidence, and doing little if anything to actually take care of and nurture myself. This is a place many of us find ourselves whether we are working in a career, working at raising kids or other caretaking, or just working at the game of life. The answer, also in Rumi's words, is to come back to the root of our own souls and love ourselves completely.
How do we do this? Yoga again teaches us that we must root down in our own truth and strength. Our roots must be both deep and wide. What are these roots, I am sure you are asking. I believe that our roots are essentially the different aspects of our beings that together make up our "whole selves." They are the aspects of our truth, our personal power, and our strength.
Coming back to myself as an example, once I realized that I was not taking care of my own needs, I had to figure out what those needs were. It was a bit of a process and went gradually, but there were needs on many levels: nutrition, exercise, rest, time for myself, mental and emotional needs, sense of my own worth or value, my attitude--many things. As I started to make small, incremental changes that felt manageable, these changes had ripple effects. Over a relatively short period of time monumental things changed both for me and for my family life.
The roots themselves are "things" like the basics: physical/body health, exercise and rest, environmental stimuli such as schedules, technology and organization in your immediate surroundings. They are also mental experiences such as thoughts, and emotional experiences such as feelings. They are approaches to the world that encompass attitudes, perceptions, and judgments. Spirituality is another. We are all wired to seek some connection with something greater than ourselves, whether that be God, Goddess, the Universe, or some other Collective. And finally, I believe that Self-Worth is it's own root, even though it overlaps with several others, simply because our sense of our own worth and value is such a huge part of how we perceive and interact with the world.
I imagine the sheer number of roots that need attention may seem overwhelming, but there is a lot of good news. First, everything we need is already inside of us. We may need some support, guidance, and/or direction to find it and cultivate it, but it is already there. And second, the methods we use to find and cultivate the seeds that lie within us will almost universally address each and every root on some level. That is, a small change that helps cultivate one root will almost certainly cultivate some, if not all, of the other roots as well.
What are the practices, I'm sure you're thinking. That is far more than can be addressed in this one post, but in short, they are the things that help feed our bodies, minds, spirits, and souls in healthy ways. Practices and habits that may seem hard at first quickly become second nature with an open mind and just a little push past resistance, and can literally change your life.
Join us at Roots First as we explore these practices and learn how to implement them easily into our daily lives.
"What seems hard now will someday be your warm up." --Bloch Dance Europe
If you like our work and are interested in helping us continue, please consider supporting us on Patreon. For more information, please click the link or copy and paste this into your browser: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=25820728. Thank you!