Becoming Part of the Solution

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but it has not solved one yet.”— Maya Angelou

I’ve come back to this quote so many times in recent months, and even more so in recent days. It is so easy, and even part of the human condition, to feel anger and even to experience hate. These are strong emotions that we experience by no accident. The mobilize us and motivate us, they empower us. They drive us to take action when we are threatened and when we must protect our lives.

When our physical safety is not truly threatened, however, these emotions become something else. They become predatory rather than protective. These emotions lead people to do things that harm and even kill others—often innocent others, or at the very least others who presented no physical threat. It is then that these emotions become truly problematic.

They become problematic for the obvious reasons—others who are not threatening anyone’s safety become the victims of violence, whether it be physical violence or emotional violence. People are harmed. These emotions also become problematic in others, more subtle ways. They become problems not just for the hated, but also for the hater.

The hater is not happy and rather, is suffering. Anger and hate are rooted in fear, so the hater is actually afraid, perhaps even terrified, of a perceived threat. The more this fear is fed, the more the anger and hate are, and the more the person experiencing these emotions suffers.

The experience of anger and hate, while initially motivating and empowering, and perhaps even euphoric in those first moments of action, eats away at the person who experiences them. These are emotions intended, from an evolutionary perspective, to be very temporary and functional for survival. They are intended to dissipate as soon as the physical threat has passed. The anger and hate that are fueled and perpetuated, however, are toxic, are cancerous, and will destroy those who hold onto them.

Anger and hate are not the solutions to what is happening today. It does not matter what “side” you find yourself on, which position you occupy. If you allow yourself to feed your fear of the threat you perceive—particularly if it is not an actual threat sitting right in front of you and is rather something in your mind, something off in the distance or off in the future, something you don’t control— you will feed your anger and hate. If you allow yourself to hold onto these emotions and/or to feed them with information aimed at fueling the fire, you will suffer. These emotions will eat away at your happiness, at your grounding, at your ability to connect with others, to have healthy relationships. These emotions, if left unchecked and allowed to remain or grow, will cause only problems, and may ultimately destroy you.

Today let us become aware of our feelings of anger, of hate, if they come up. It is easy, too easy, to experience these emotions lately. Let us remind ourselves when these feelings come up that they are destructive, not just to others but also to ourselves.

Let us remind ourselves of Maya Angelou’s wisdom, that hate has caused so many problems but has never solved one. We can stop being part of the problem(s) and become part of the solution by not allowing ourselves to hate. It may seem small, but it is powerful.