A Sober October

Often I regret having a drink, but I never regret not having one.

Sober October has become quite a thing. I didn’t create it or make it up, and honestly, while I believe it has been a thing for some time now I didn’t realize it until a year or two ago. When I first heard of it, I thought something to the effect of, “That sounds great, but no thanks.”

Over time, however, I started to notice how alcohol affects me. I’ve noticed that I can feel even small amounts of alcohol leaving my system the next day. I’m not hungover or anything like that, but I just don’t feel 100%. I don’t sleep as well if there is any alcohol in my system. The next day I’m more tired, sometimes more irritable. I am more likely to be impatient or snappy with my kids. I’m not as happy.

I must say that I was surprised when I started to see the pattern. I was never a daily drinker or a heavy drinker. In my younger years I was definitely a partier and therefore a “binge drinker”, and as I got older and more responsible that slowed down quite a bit. Generally speaking, however, I was more of what you’d call a social drinker, or a moderate drinker, or admittedly, sometimes a stress drinker. I truly believed that alcohol had little to no effect on me beyond the enjoyment of the drinks themselves, unless I over-indulged. I was astonished when I observed the difference between the days when I had even a little alcohol the previous day in comparison to the days when I had not.

I began to research it because that is what I always do. I’m curious by nature, and when I notice something I don’t completely understand, I want to understand it. I won't share all I learned about alcohol and its effects here, that is a topic for a course for those who are specifically interested in learning about that. Instead, I will simply say that what I observed in myself was sufficient for me to experiment with a period of abstinence, and I am really glad I did simply because I felt so much better when I stopped having those social/moderate/stress-induced drinks.

This brings me back to the whole Sober October idea. It seems that there are enough people in the world who recognize some “issue” with alcohol—whether it be that they’ve noticed they don’t feel as well after drinking, or they question if they drink too much, or they want to make sure they can stop, or they simply want a break—that rather official breaks such as Sober October and Dry January have become movements. For some they are annual events.

Just because these are actual events that a fair few people decide to undertake does not make them easy, however. Going an entire month without alcohol is actually quite difficult for most people. Alcohol is so imbedded into our culture that it is considered unusual, if not even strange to not drink. Within that month of abstinence, most people are likely to attend numerous, alcohol-infused social gatherings (virtual or other depending on the times), they are likely to get stressed and want to “take the edge off”, they are likely to be looking forward to that cocktail before dinner or that glass of wine with a nice meal. When one decides to take a month off and is confronted with one or more of these situations, sticking to the commitment can become quite tricky.

It becomes further complicated if you are doing it alone and the majority of people around you are still enjoying their daily or social or stress-relieving drinks. It can feel lonely, isolating. You might feel left out or concerned that your friends won’t want to hang out with you, or will find you to be less fun. You might experience cravings, or if you don’t like that word then you might experience strong desires to have a drink. It might just sound good. And when everyone around you is enjoying their alcoholic beverage of choice, you begin to think “Why am I doing this? I can have just one.”

I know this because I’ve done it. I’ve taken time off from drinking multiple times. I’ve done it while most if not all of my friends and family continue to enjoy their drinks. I’ve felt the loneliness, I’ve made the explanations to others about why I’m not drinking—people do generally want to know why. I have friends who have also done it, and they, too, can attest that it simply isn’t easy.

That’s ok. It doesn’t have to be easy at first because we can do hard things (as Glennon Doyle reminds us in her book “Untamed”.). It does get easier, appreciably easier after just a few days, and then gradually easier and easier over time after that. And what’s even better, the further away from alcohol you get, the better you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

So if you’re wondering whether Sober October is for you, I’d say take the plunge and check it out. At the end of the day, it’s just 31 days. One month. You can do anything for one month, and at the end of the month you can make whatever choice you wan to make. You can pour yourself a huge cocktail or glass of wine, you can throw a keg party to celebrate your leap back “off the wagon,” or you can go on to day 32 and see where it goes from there. The choice is completely up to you.

If you do decide to give Sober October a try, we are here and doing it with you. Join our Sober October group and take a break from alcohol with us!